*For husbands – take notes and act accordingly (aka – buy a massage and do some laundry)
*For SAHMs who used to work outside the home – enjoy the comic relief
*For SAHMs who have never worked outside the home – enjoy the glimpse and laugh at me
I’ve realized over the last 3 years that there is a huge disconnect between the world of working moms and the rest of the world, so this is my attempt to close that gap. I know it probably won’t do any good, but I’m putting it out in the universe anyway! Enjoy!
My normal day:
4:30 am – Alarm goes off. Either get up and work out, or hit the snooze button as hard as I can in order to sleep until the last minute before having to get ready for work (unfortunately, it’s usually the latter).
5:50 am – Start the getting ready process
*Sometime between 5:50 and 6:30 am – 1 or more children wake up and come into visit. This slows down the getting ready process considerably…
6:30 am – Realize that we’re running behind and scramble to get the kids ready before finishing myself
6:40 am – Realize that I need to change my shirt and/or pants b/c they have snot, slobber, or boogers on them
6:45 am – Argue with Mason about why he cannot take Buzz Lightyear to daycare.
6:46 am – Argue with Mason about why he cannot take the 10 toys he shoved into his backpack to daycare.
6:47 am – Chase Madison through the house trying to put her shoes on.
6:48 am – Load up in the car and wrestle with car seat straps.
6:50 am – The kids are too cute waving and saying “bye bye” to daddy as we back out of the garage
6:50 – 6:55 am – Have a wonderful conversation with Mason about the cars, the birds in the trees, the sun, and how God made us while Madison interjects every once in a while with a funny noise or random word so that we don’t forget her.
6:55 am – Arrive at daycare. Proceed to give hugs and kisses and start their day off right. End with either: tears, snotty noses, and tight grips on pant legs or complete indifference to the fact I’m present.
7:00 am – Run out of the sitter’s house to get ahead of crappy rush hour traffic. Deal with dumb people for 40 – 45 minutes while I try to enjoy Kidd Kraddick’s random talk.
7:45 am – Arrive at work, turn off mommy brain and turn on working brain.
8 am – 11 am – Work, work, work. Keep a notepad on desk. As kids, husband, etc pop into brain, make notes so you don’t forget to take care of things. This never stops. Take a minute, write it down. Back to work.
11 am – Take early lunch break to get errands done. 1 hour to make it to 3 different stores…GO!
11:01 am – Get stuck behind the couple out for a Sunday drive. Miss every green light while fighting bad thoughts.
11:10 am – arrive at first destination, a little frazzled from drive. Realize you left your shopping list on your desk or at home. Wing it. Then get stuck behind a SAHM fresh off her workout at the Y doing her grocery shopping with her 4 kids at the only lane open on this side of the store. Debate about whether you should just go put back the 10 items you’re buying and decide that you can’t. Wait and wait. Then get checked out in 2 minutes and run to the car.
11:30 am – Proceed to next store. Arrive even more frazzled than before. You have 5 minutes to get in and out if you want to make your next stop. After 10 minutes, accept the fact that you’re never going to make it and figure out a plan B.
11:55 am – Arrive back at work. Make or heat up lunch in kitchen in time to eat at desk while getting back to work.
12 pm – 5 pm – Repeat 8am – 11am. Add in random thoughts about the evening’s activities and dinner especially. Realize you forgot to take the hamburger out of the freezer. Come up with yet another plan B.
5 pm – Run out the door to try and beat traffic. Turn on full mommy brain and spend the next 45 minutes singing as loudly as possible with Beyonce, Adele, Shane & Shane, Andrew Peterson and Cobra Starship (current playlist, depending on mood). Enjoy strange looks from fellow drivers. Attempt to de-stress.
5:45 pm – Arrive at daycare. Enjoy the running yells and hugs from M&m. Hear about their day and get them prepped for the evenings activities as we load up to head home.
6 pm – Arrive home and make dinner with hubs.
6:30 pm – Fight with children that they either need to eat more or can’t have any more b/c they ate everything (depending on mood…) Depending on evening, freak out that we’re late or freak out b/c there’s so much to do at home.
6:45 pm – Kids are messy from dinner - Bath time. Hubs takes care of baths while I clean, do dishes, or do job-work.
7 pm – Get kids ready for bed. Brush teeth, potty, comb hair, get dressed.
7:05 pm – Play time/ Chore time. Try and keep the house clean while enjoying the kids for a while.
7:30 pm – Story time while the kids eat their snack. Randal makes funny voices to make fun of my funny voices. The kids love both. We say our prayers and Mason tries to repeat what I say while Madison giggles at his attempts to say “I pray the Lord my soul to keep” slowly and perfectly.
8 pm – Depending on how the day went, for the kids and for us, bedtime falls between 8 and 9.
9 pm – With the kids in bed, and hopefully asleep, I can get something done. Or, I can take a hot bubble bath and read a book. Or, I can enjoy junk TV with the hubs. Again, depends on the mood.
10 pm – I’m exhausted. I fall asleep as my head hits the pillow. I dream of crazy things…work and personal.
12:30 am - Get woken up in the middle of the night by crying kids. Either take them potty or get them a drink, or tuck them back in and talk them back to sleep.
1 am – Still lying in bed trying to get back to sleep. To do lists are swimming in my head. Must shut off. Count sheep, count breaths, count everything. This only leads to more counting and more lists. Decide to do Sudoku on my phone.
1:30 am – Start to feel eyelids droop. Shut phone off and lay head down and drift into dream land.
1:35 am – Get woken up by crying child. Repeat above steps.
4:30 am – Start all over again.
Now what lessons have we learned from this?
1) I’m exhausted. I’m tired and stressed and feel like I’m being pulled in a million different directions with a million different things in my head all the time. Throw in the fact that, when you first go back to work after baby, you've added in extra hormone swings and mandatory breaks from work. When kids are sick, you have to debate about who can afford to take a sick day that day and/or work from home. It's a whole other world.
2) I’m glad I have Randal to help with the above. I couldn’t do this on my own. Having someone else to run errands and help with chores and entertain children is beyond wonderful. To do it with your best friend and be able to have someone to hang out with after the kids are in bed, even better :)
3) People who don’t work need to stay out of stores and off the roads between 11 am and 2 pm if possible. I know it might be an inconvenience for you to rearrange your day. But it’s a big inconvenience to me for you not to. So thanks.
4) I can’t make it to children’s activities from 7 am to 6 pm. So “family time” activities from 10 – 12 don’t work. Mommy and kid classes from 3-6 don’t work. Santa being available from 8 to 10 is not helpful. Frustrating is an understatement.
5) I love my SAHM friends. I’m lucky and most of mine are very understanding of my much different schedule and try to be flexible and sympathetic when I just need some kid time instead of a girl's night. They know that I know that they work just as hard as I do and that we just have a different lifestyle. We laugh about our different days and love getting a glimpse into each others’ lives.
6) I don’t like being judged by the people that think I’m a bad mother b/c I work. Throw in the fact that I have my baking business in addition to the above schedule and sometimes I feel like people are really judging me. Could be my own paranoia, but when people say “How do you make time for it all?” I hear “Wow. That’s a lot. You must be a really horrible mother since you ignore your children all the time”. Whether you work b/c you need the money or b/c you need the outside-the-home activity, power to you! Either way, you’re giving your kids what’s best for them b/c you’re taking care of the family as a whole. And that’s a way bigger responsibility than anything else and no one can judge you for that.
7) Regarding the above. There is no way to “make time for it all”. You do what you have to do when it has to be done. I drop the ball all the time, but luckily my husband and my kids are very forgiving and know that I’m juggling a lot. So we pick up and plug on.
8) I am thankful for friends and family that understand. They babysit, they check in, they make a point to ask for time and are flexible until the schedule works out. They are wonderful and supportive.
9) I wouldn’t change it for the world. My life is crazy and hectic. Some days are wonderful, some are frustrating and I want to give up. But it’s worth it. It’s SO worth it. I'm crazy, but it's the good kind.
10) I am thankful for a God that designed my brain to be like spaghetti instead of a waffle. I don’t want to compartmentalize. Yes, I’m jealous of the fact that working dads can go to work and turn off “daddy brain” and just focus on work. They don’t keep to do lists for what errands need to be run at lunch. It’s exhausting, but I’m happy that’s my role. God made me just for this. And He made me dependant on Him to recharge my batteries. I know that when I’m feeling ragged and run-down, I can rest in Him. And that’s something every mother can relate to!
11) I live for the weekends and holidays. Saturday morning cartoons and homemade pancakes in our PJs can’t be beat!
This is worth working for:
