Open Letter Series - Part Four: Mason

To my oldest baby...my first born...my favorite Ginger:

It's been over 3 years since I became a mommy to a beautiful little boy. You were an active baby...you were quite the gymnast and didn't let me sleep much.  You gave me heartburn, headaches, and backaches.  You were stubborn and didn't want to get here when you were supposed to.  They literally had to pull you out of me, screaming and kicking all the way. You prepared me for motherhood before you ever saw the outside world.  :) 

You have given me more gut laughs in the last 3 years than I can count.  You make your dad and I laugh so hard that we have trouble disciplining you.  You definitely got daddy's sense of humor...you know when you're being funny and you run with it. I'm so glad you know how to make life fun and light and I hope you'll keep that quality. 

You're one of the best big brothers I've ever seen.  You watch out for your sister all the time.  Granted, you guys have your little spats and sometimes have difficulty sharing, but you are best friends.  I pray that you'll always be there for each other.  She looks up to you and wants to be like you...remember that. You guys have so much fun together and I love that you're so close in age so you can do the same things and have fun.  I look forward to seeing the fun things you guys get into in the coming years.

Keep your sense of adventure.  You are super curious and want to do everything right along side your daddy and me.  Keep learning and trying new things.  You don't like to be bored and if you look in the right places for your next big thing, you'll go far.  I hope you'll use your curiousity to learn as much as you can, especially about God.  You like to ask questions, and that's good.  Keep searching and learning and growing.  You're a smart kid,  so use your brains, but learn to listen to your heart too.  You process stuff on a deep level, listen to those emotions.  Work hard to find a good balance between your brains and your feelings.

I pray that you'll grow into a fine, strong man.  I pray for your future wife, that she would grow into a woman that you can be best friends with and build a wonderful life with.  I pray that you would find a career that will make you happy and that you would follow wherever God leads you.  I want nothing more for you than to know Him and His plans for you.  Be kind, strong, and honest.  Value your relationships and make them a priority and you'll grow into the wonderful man that I can already see growing before me now.

I love you,
Mommy

Open Letter Series - Part Three: Madison

Exactly two years ago we welcomed the most beautiful girl into our little family.  I waited and waited for you to arrive.  We induced labor in order to get you here.  We waited at the hospital overnight and showed little progress for hours and hours.  Then, all of the sudden, you decided you were ready and made the next 15 minutes the most painful, scary, exciting, and relieving 15 minutes the world has ever experienced!  And so sets the stage... :)

I love that you know what you want, when you want it.  And while you need to learn that sometimes you don't get it, I hope you'll keep this trait.  Remember to stick up for the things you're passionate about and not let anything take that away from you.  I pray that you'll find what you're passionate about at a young age and pursue that with the drive that only you have.  You are one of the most motivated people I know - use that for good.

I love your spunk.  You have such an adventurous spirit and you're not scared of anything. We have to constantly be on the look out for you to do the trust fall so that you don't hurt yourself.  You climb on everything and don't have to worry about keeping up with the older kids.  I can see you being a stunt double for someone someday...it would scare me, but wouldn't surprise me :) Keep enjoying life and make every day an adventure.  There's a big world out there and I know you're going to take it by storm.

You wear your heart on your sleeve like me. You love hugs and kisses and are my cuddle-bug and I love that about you. I can honestly tell you that will be hard sometimes, but don't change it.  When you're older, you'll realize how important it is to let everyone know how much you love them.  Don't ever let a day go by without making sure that people know that you care.

You're funny - you get that from your daddy.  You'll be a classic youngest child with your "class clown" tendencies and I'm ok with that.  You and your brother keep things interesting around here.  Life is hard and your humor will get you through some tough days.  I'm so glad you have that.

I pray that you'll grow old and live a good life.  I pray that you'll be happy and do what you love.  I pray that you'll know Christ as your Savior and follow where He leads you.  I pray that you'll find a man who will take good care of you, but more importantly, lead you with a heart after His.  I want nothing more for you than to start compiling a list of the names you know Him by. I can't wait to share late deep late night conversations with you about things like this.

I know you and I are bound to butt heads over the next couple of decades...we're too much alike and both way too stubborn not to have those times.  I had a great example of a mother, but I know I'll still let you down sometimes.  Always remember that I love you and would do anything for you.  No matter what we go through, you are my daughter and I am your mother.  Know that you can come to me, no matter how old you are or what the circumstance is.  Just like you come to me now when you fall down, I'll be there to pick you up when you're grown. 

Oh.  And I gave birth to you without an epidural.  Be nice to me and don't make fun of me too much when I completely lose my mind :)

I love you my precious baby girl!
~Mommy

I'm giving up my birthday!

While I still feel like a 5 year old on the inside and act like a 75 year old on the outside, I am indeed almost 27.

But here's the thing.  As I sit here and make plans for my sweet little girl's 2nd birthday, I am also praying for a sweet little girl named Paxten who is getting a bone marrow transplant before her 2nd birthday because she has leukemia. 

Then my mind wanders to my mom's cousin who recently passed away after a hard fought battle with multiple myeloma and the family that is left behind to carry on without a great man.

Then I can't help but dwell on thoughts of my grandpa.  The toughest fighter I've ever known.  He's battled through numerous bouts with cancer for more than a decade and beats it time after time.  I can't put into words how it moves me to think about the fact that I can call him a cancer survivor.  I love this man:

I could make this blog much, much longer if I listed all of the people in my life who have fought cancer.  Some are still with us, and others we miss dearly. All of us have been affected by cancer, even if we haven't had it ourselves. That's why I decided to give up my birthday.

I want kids like Paxten to have more birthdays to celebrate with sugar highs.  I wish my mom's cousin-in-law could still give a hug to her best friend.  I want my grandpa around to see as many milestones in the lives of his grandkids and great grandkids as possible.

I want more birthdays for all of us, so me giving up #27 seemed like a good idea.

So here's the deal...you need to check this out and donate if you can:  http://www.crowdrise.com/bethsbirthday

How was cancer affected you?  Who do you know and love that has battled cancer?  Leave a comment here with your story.  Then check out my link and donate if you can.  Whether you give or not, spread the word.  My goal is $2700 for my 27th - help me get there by February 5th!

Open Letter Series - Part Two - Randal

Dearest Randy:

We’ve come a long way since 2003.  The goofy guy with the guitar and the little blue pick-up meets the nerdy girl with the stupid yellow and red fingernails and they watch The Italian Job.  Who knew what the next few years had in store for us!? 

First Came Love:

I still can’t believe how fast I fell in love with you. And while I hate to admit that it was love at first sight for me and not for you, I can’t blame you.  I mean, seriously…red and yellow fingernails only hinted at my strange KC Chiefs obsession…it takes a little while to see past that ;)  But I’ll never forget that night after volleyball at the church when you asked me on a date so calmy and cooly.  And I’ll never stop laughing at the fact that, while I bent down to get a cough drop from my purse, you tested out the armrests on the seats at the Warren to make sure you could hold my hand if I wanted you to.  And my family will never forget how you tagged along to my brother’s birthday dinner just a week after our first date because I asked expecting you to say it was too soon.  I should have known then that you and I would have a pretty entertaining relationship! J

You helped me through so many tough situations just when we were dating:  Making the move from FT student to FT worker and PT student, getting my first apartment, my first management job, running off creepers at aforementioned apartment, the loss of a very special friend, and countless other minor emergencies, including the worst flu I’ve had to date.

You showed me just how strong you were during this time.  You proved to me over and over again that you would work as hard as you had to in order to get things accomplished.  You showed me the picture of what it means to overcome the worst of circumstances and how you can decide to not let other peoples’ decisions shape who you are and what you do with your life.  I can’t tell you how much this side of you still impresses me to this day.  You shouldn’t be the man you are today…not many people would be.  It’s one of your best qualities and something that will make your kids and grandkids extra proud someday.

Then Came Marriage:

I’m glad to this day that I was wrong about how the day was going to go that fateful November day.  I had no idea what you were doing when we went by the old dorms.  And I’m glad I said yes! J The planning was fun – thanks for keeping me in check.  And I’ll always appreciate the way you comforted me when I was upset about tablecloths when we were setting up the reception decorations!

We’ve had our ups and downs since June 4, 2005. We’ve hurt each other in different ways.  But love isn’t always about the fuzzy feeling in your gut and it’s hard work sometimes.  We’ve overcome things I never thought we could.  We’ve experienced healing together that only God can bring.  We’ve learned to lean on Him and built ourselves on a stronger foundation than before.  And, as heartbreaking and hard as it’s been at times, I’m so proud to share that story with you.

Then came the babies in the baby carriage:

Man, we make good babies.  It’s been a great, exhausting adventure having these two bundles of joy and M & m are in love with you.  Even though Madi doesn’t always come to you and won’t always give you kisses, I see the way she looks at you.  She looks up to you.  You’re guiding her and teaching her every day and she loves it.  I love watching it.   And Mason is attached at the hip…you don’t need me to tell you that.  As much as I hate that I don’t always get to spend the entire evening with you, I love hearing him yell “DADDY COME LAY WITH ME!” down the hall J I can’t wait to share the coming years together and watch you coach soccer teams and help with math homework (you know I’m not doing either of those!).

Your commitment to be a good husband and father has continued to grow and mean the world to me.  I know that someday our kids will be able to see that too and will appreciate how hard you worked at that, just like I do.

I love you.

~Lizzie

Prayers please!

We are in Emporia staying with Ryan & Kelli tonight...heading to KC tomorrow morning (early!). We'll drop Mason off with my friend Kim (thanks Kim!!) on our way to Mercy. Our appointment shouldn't last too long. Most of it will probably be just chatting with the dr about what we can do and what we've already done. We're not expecting a huge answer tomorrow, but at this point some little answers would be awfully nice!

I know this really isn't that big of a problem in the grand scheme of things. But when it's your little girl and you can't do anything to make it better, it's the weight of the world. I'm just hoping that Dr. Strickland can identify a cause for Madi's issue and from that, give us some sort of plan of action. I want her to just be able to be her feisty 2 year old self and not have to be bogged down by this uncomfortable problem.

Some of you have asked me how to pray tomorrow. First off, we really appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers. Please pray for calm - I know that Madison has already been scarred from some traumatic examinations and she will fight the dr tomorrow. Pray that we would be able to keep her calm and that she would not be too upset with things in the morning. Pray for the dr and for her knowledge and advice. Pray for us to really understand and ask the right questions. Pray that this period of Madison's life would be really short.

Like I said before, I realize that this issue is not that big of a deal...I know this no better then now, while I'm typing this. A family friend of ours will also be at Mercy tomorrow with their little girl who is a few months younger than Madison. They are going for a much different reason, though. Paxten has been fighting leukemia since just before Christmas last year and they are headed to Mercy for a bone marrow transplant to save their sweet little daughter's life. Please keep Pax and her parents, doctors, nurses, and family in your continued prayers over the coming weeks and months. They need this transplant to go smoothly and for Paxten's body to accept the transplant. This has been a long, hard fight and they need you to lift them up in prayer!

Thank you friends! If I've learned anything over the last few years, it's that we serve a God who can heal all wounds. I know my Healer can make life better for these two little girls tomorrow and I'm resting in that tonight.

Open Letter Series – Part One – Me

Dear younger Beth,

You’re awesome, don’t change a thing.

The end.

Just kidding. For real now:

Dear high school me,

We’ve lived a strong 26 years now. I’m not saying that’s a very long time, but the last 10 years have held a lot of learning, so let’s talk about some nuggets of wisdom that your future self has to share!

Stop worrying. Trust me, it will get you nowhere. You’re being ridiculous and wasting a lot of really good brain cells. Trust Him to plan things for you and listen when He tells you to do something.

Stop chasing boys. Robert Pike is right – they’re dumb, ESPECIALLY in high school. Trust me, the man you will marry (Who is named Randal by the way, just get used to the jokes now!) is much better than any that you’ve got your eye on now.

Cut the attitude, at least part of it. Yes, most of the things you say are pretty good and even deserved (that detention was and will always be completely bogus). But you’ll say some things over the next few years that you’ll regret. You are not as smart or mature as you think you are. And know that that is ok. You aren’t supposed to be.

Treasure this time at home. As excited as you are to get out of high school, and as awesome as the next few years will be when you move out on your own, meet the man you’ve been looking for, and prove to yourself and everyone that you can be independent, you’ll miss this time. The late night talks with your mom, the Sundays watching football with your dad, the chocolate chip cookies in the oven every weekend, the homemade meals that someone else usually made – you’ll miss it all. Take it in and take a deep breath. Slow down and enjoy it.

Embrace your geeky self. Sit on the couch and watch TCM all weekend. Go ahead and read the Harry Potter books (they’re just as good as everyone says they are!).

Listen to more music – expand your catalog. You’ll appreciate all kinds of great artistry later, so start it now. And take those vocal lessons your dad offered…you were dumb to say no and you’ll regret it later.

Last, but certainly not least, love yourself. You’re beautiful and you need to figure that out a little sooner than I did. Stop worrying about how you look in your cheer uniform, it’s really not that big of a deal and you look way better than you think you do. You’re not dumb, you’re just really good at standing up for what you believe (this will come in pretty handy over the years!) Keep walking with Him and you’ll be ok, you can be confident in that.

He will heal all of your wounds. He will pick you up and put you back together over the next few years, every time everything falls apart (sorry to say there’s a few of those). He’ll bless you with a great guy and 2 beautiful kids (You make pretty babies!) whose laughter lights up your world. He’s put such a strong support system in place for you, learn to trust in that and treasure your friends. Keep in the Word, Jr. High quiz won’t stay with you forever (no, you can’t recite the genealogy in Matthew from memory anymore!). Just be yourself…you are who you’re supposed to be, but you’re not the woman you will be. And trust me, she’s pretty cool too :)

Sincerely,

You