Now for the really serious post...
What did I learn from God in all of this?
I prayed every day while planning things for this trip that God would use me to reach others and would use my experiences to speak to me. I knew that He would, but tried not to expect too much. I told myself it would be ok if there weren't any earth shattering moments or revelations; that there would still be purpose in what I did there and that He could still speak to me in small whispers even if I did want the big, loud screams to my heart.
And there wasn't a lot of yelling...not a lot of ground breaking…not a lot of surprise. Instead, there was constant pushing & prodding; constant reminders; constant remolding of my self and who I am known as. He renewed the callings on my life and restored my hope in letting Him have His way with them.
I made God a promise a few years ago.
When I was at the end of my rope, in circumstances that no one wishes for, in a place where I was fully clinging to the only One I had left…
I promised that I saw it for His good and that I would use it for that.
I promised that I would use my experiences to help other women who might feel like I did – lonely, frustrated, shattered, and without the ability to easily dream of wonderful days ahead like everyone wants to.
I promised Him I would take what I learned and use it to build other women up, to restore their hearts in His trust and hope.
I promised that I would be different than the world. That I would shine His light through my obedience to these other promises.
Then life happened.
I did what I could, which was the minimum. I didn’t ask Him to open doors, I looked for the doors myself…and when I found them all closed, I threw up my hands and patted myself on the back for trying.
I let the still, small voice fade. I told myself that it just wasn’t the time for Him to use my lessons. I told myself that my life was still a mess and that I wasn’t really in a position to help anyone else now anyway. I told myself that, eventually, the right situation would arise and I would be ready to jump in and get down to business when it was the right time.
I acted like the people I saw around me. I was bitter and hopeless and said things I shouldn't. I ignored the proddings on my heart that I was meant to do something different...something much, much bigger.
Then Africa happened.
There, He used my stilled mind to remind me of my promises, and more importantly, of His. He told me I didn’t have to have my problems fixed to be useful; that I’m much more useful to Him when I realize that I don’t have it all together.
He reminded me of how much I longed to know that another woman understood my thoughts, fears, and feelings and could provide hope to me in the darkest moments.
He reminded me how much we women need each other.
He reminded me that I do have beautiful days ahead, here and after my earthly days. And that, even if it doesn't mean that things get better and life is all gumdrops and rainbows, it is worth it to follow Him until the end.
He gave me new friends…who, for the first time in a VERY long time, made me feel understood and not alone in where I am. I will forever be grateful for those whispers into my heart and how much they set me free from my fears and turmoil.
He showed me that I came up with my own plans, and that those needed to be ignored. He showed me that He can use my experiences in much bigger ways than what I ever had in my head.
He renewed my heart for other women…of all backgrounds, life stages, situations, and locations. He reminded me of how much I love connecting with other ladies and how much I love to share with them and break down barriers around their hearts.
He showed me how much it pleased Him and how much good it could do for Him for me to just encourage someone in a brief moment.
It was only a week and a half. We've been back for a month now and He continues to remind me of these things every day. It's a slow burning that continues to build. He continues to show me the path He wants me to follow. He gives me the freedom to close the doors that I've foolishly forced open in my own efforts and guides me to the doors He's opening instead.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Uganda Post 9 - The Sights & Funnies
These things aren't serious or deep...but I still don't want to forget them :) These are the things that still make me smile when I think of them...
Melissa asking me every 2 minutes if I would still be her friend when we got back home.
I took a Tylenol PM before our flight out of Uganda so that I could sleep. I feel asleep as soon as I sat down on the plane and the flight attendant and Melissa R. had to shake me awake and have me fasten my seatbelt so that we could take off.
On our road trip to Jinja/Mbale, we rode on a japanese bus that said something like "Excuse me....this IS a bus". I REALLY wish I would have recorded it on my phone and made it my ringtone...
How I met Kerri: Becki left her phone charging at our seats at the gate while she ran to the restroom. She had already told us that Kerri's connecting flight was going to be quick and she was going to have to run through the airport. So when Becki's phone started ringing and Kerri's name popped up, I felt like I had to answer it. So I got to introduce myself while answering a stranger's phone to the poor girl on the other end who was running through the Atlanta airport...awkward.
At the Starbucks in Amsterdam, Kerri = Gary.
The kids across the road from the hotel in Mbale shouted "mzungu!!! mzungu!!!" until I acknowledged them every time I came in and out of my room.
Melissa driving the van...thanks goodness we weren't in Kampala.
Melissa's Ugandan sunglasses.
Kim & Melissa taking their Katniss Everdeen bows home for their kids. Motherly love, meet airport security...
Melissa asking me every 2 minutes if I would still be her friend when we got back home.
I took a Tylenol PM before our flight out of Uganda so that I could sleep. I feel asleep as soon as I sat down on the plane and the flight attendant and Melissa R. had to shake me awake and have me fasten my seatbelt so that we could take off.
On our road trip to Jinja/Mbale, we rode on a japanese bus that said something like "Excuse me....this IS a bus". I REALLY wish I would have recorded it on my phone and made it my ringtone...
How I met Kerri: Becki left her phone charging at our seats at the gate while she ran to the restroom. She had already told us that Kerri's connecting flight was going to be quick and she was going to have to run through the airport. So when Becki's phone started ringing and Kerri's name popped up, I felt like I had to answer it. So I got to introduce myself while answering a stranger's phone to the poor girl on the other end who was running through the Atlanta airport...awkward.
At the Starbucks in Amsterdam, Kerri = Gary.
The kids across the road from the hotel in Mbale shouted "mzungu!!! mzungu!!!" until I acknowledged them every time I came in and out of my room.
Melissa driving the van...thanks goodness we weren't in Kampala.
Melissa's Ugandan sunglasses.
Kim & Melissa taking their Katniss Everdeen bows home for their kids. Motherly love, meet airport security...
Uganda Post 8 - The Team
I already told you all about our fearless leader Melissa and how incredible she is. I mentioned our amazing team, so now it's time to introduce you to each of them. These people are incredible. It was so awesome to get to know each of them and to see how well God put this team together. It was evident from the get-go that He had big plans for our ministry to others as well as each other.
God knew each personality that would be on this team. He knew how we would clash and how we would mesh. He designed a team that would function well in each area in a different way. He showed us our strengths and weaknesses so that we would learn to rely on Him when we didn't know which way to go. He orchestrated friendships that I will forever be grateful for and know come directly from Him and can serve His purposes.
Janet - Our other Mulvane lady! I've known Janet since I started attending FBC Mulvane about a decade ago, but have known her on mostly a surface level. I loved getting to spend more time with her and learning more about her. Seeing her interact with our team and those that we were there to serve was really special and showed me a lot of how compassionate and caring this woman is.
Jessica - Melissa's sister-in-law is just as hilarious as any Busby should be. She kept us giggling with her good sense of humor and I loved getting to know this girl that I had heard so much about over the years. She was such a trooper and jumped in when needed. I loved seeing/hearing her soaking all of Uganda in and experiencing the place that her sister-in-law loves so much. I also loved her commentary on the kids of Uganda and how tough they are!
Katie - Melissa's cousin-in-law. This girl was awesome and got to show off her nursing skills on several occasions! It was great to see her use her gifts to serve the team's purpose and to get to help in an entirely different way than the rest of us were able to. She was also a big favorite of the Ugandans because of her beautiful hair!
Joshua - The brave boy that was willing to tag along with all of us girls. Impressed is an understatement...he managed to hang with all of us crazy ladies without going completely bonkers. He was such a trooper and was willing to step in and help every step of the way. Plus, he loves his aunt Melissa and that, in itself, was completely adorable.
Kerri - A musician and photographer from North Carolina. She is a sweet, spunky Southern girl and I fell in love with her and her best friend Becki. She was awesome in every setting that we found ourselves in and could always give a giggle to the group. Plus, she ate an entire fish that was pulled from the Nile....that just screams to her awesomeness. Kerri and Becki led our worship sessions and blew me away with their talent and their heart for leading other women to the Throne. Amazing.
Becki - Kerri's fellow musician who resides in Tennessee. This girl is tough and hilarious...just the kind of person I like to hang out with! She lovingly shared her story with me and wanted to hear mine as well. She made me giggle and cry...not an easy thing to do when you've known someone less than a week! I'm so thankful for her and Kerri and the hilarity and seriousness that they brought to the team!
Brooke - She's from Nebraska, but I promised I wouldn't hold that against her. Husker fanhood aside, I loved getting to know this sweet lady. She has such a heart for the kids in Uganda and she amazed me every step of the way with her special way of showing Christ's love to everyone that we met. She managed to pull off some pretty awesome crafting activities too, which was no small feat!
Kim - Our new writer friend from Minnesota. This lady is something special. She has such a heart for the orphan and wants to know all that she can about the people of Uganda and how they live. She amazed me with her interactions and her drive to bring attention to the problems that the people of Uganda face. Plus, her sense of humor was sarcastic and spot on...just the way I like it.
Bliss - Our rogue traveler that joined us on the road to Jinja and Mbale. We loved this beautiful girl and everything that she brought to our team. I'm so thankful that her plans in Uganda didn't go right on schedule and that she got to tag along with us...she was definitely meant to be on that bus with us. I loved seeing her sweet spirit and watching her experience exactly what she came to Uganda to do - love on the people there. We're all praying that the rest of her time in the country is just as special as our time was with her.
Agnes - The nurse from Kampala that tagged along with us to our ladies' events. She impressed me so much with the way she shared with the ladies at our gatherings. She has such a great sense of humor and was so knowledgable. She had a way with the girls and women that she talked to...she was able to get them to loosen up and take their walls down. She got them to ask the questions that were on their mind and gave them such useful information to carry with them. She was such a blessing to our team!
I have to also mention Billy & Brian - the boys that drove/directed us on our trip. They're both awesome guys who just wanted to help serve in the best way possible and they were such a blessing to our team. They both made us laugh constantly and brought a different perspective to the trip, so I'm thankful for them too!
God knew each personality that would be on this team. He knew how we would clash and how we would mesh. He designed a team that would function well in each area in a different way. He showed us our strengths and weaknesses so that we would learn to rely on Him when we didn't know which way to go. He orchestrated friendships that I will forever be grateful for and know come directly from Him and can serve His purposes.
The team (minus Bliss) delivering Mama Kits to Mama Florence:
Nurse Agnes, Josh, Kim, Katie, Melissa B, Jessica, Janet, Brooke, Beth, Becki, Kerri
Janet - Our other Mulvane lady! I've known Janet since I started attending FBC Mulvane about a decade ago, but have known her on mostly a surface level. I loved getting to spend more time with her and learning more about her. Seeing her interact with our team and those that we were there to serve was really special and showed me a lot of how compassionate and caring this woman is.
Jessica - Melissa's sister-in-law is just as hilarious as any Busby should be. She kept us giggling with her good sense of humor and I loved getting to know this girl that I had heard so much about over the years. She was such a trooper and jumped in when needed. I loved seeing/hearing her soaking all of Uganda in and experiencing the place that her sister-in-law loves so much. I also loved her commentary on the kids of Uganda and how tough they are!
Katie - Melissa's cousin-in-law. This girl was awesome and got to show off her nursing skills on several occasions! It was great to see her use her gifts to serve the team's purpose and to get to help in an entirely different way than the rest of us were able to. She was also a big favorite of the Ugandans because of her beautiful hair!
Joshua - The brave boy that was willing to tag along with all of us girls. Impressed is an understatement...he managed to hang with all of us crazy ladies without going completely bonkers. He was such a trooper and was willing to step in and help every step of the way. Plus, he loves his aunt Melissa and that, in itself, was completely adorable.
Kerri - A musician and photographer from North Carolina. She is a sweet, spunky Southern girl and I fell in love with her and her best friend Becki. She was awesome in every setting that we found ourselves in and could always give a giggle to the group. Plus, she ate an entire fish that was pulled from the Nile....that just screams to her awesomeness. Kerri and Becki led our worship sessions and blew me away with their talent and their heart for leading other women to the Throne. Amazing.
Becki - Kerri's fellow musician who resides in Tennessee. This girl is tough and hilarious...just the kind of person I like to hang out with! She lovingly shared her story with me and wanted to hear mine as well. She made me giggle and cry...not an easy thing to do when you've known someone less than a week! I'm so thankful for her and Kerri and the hilarity and seriousness that they brought to the team!
Brooke - She's from Nebraska, but I promised I wouldn't hold that against her. Husker fanhood aside, I loved getting to know this sweet lady. She has such a heart for the kids in Uganda and she amazed me every step of the way with her special way of showing Christ's love to everyone that we met. She managed to pull off some pretty awesome crafting activities too, which was no small feat!
Kim - Our new writer friend from Minnesota. This lady is something special. She has such a heart for the orphan and wants to know all that she can about the people of Uganda and how they live. She amazed me with her interactions and her drive to bring attention to the problems that the people of Uganda face. Plus, her sense of humor was sarcastic and spot on...just the way I like it.
Bliss - Our rogue traveler that joined us on the road to Jinja and Mbale. We loved this beautiful girl and everything that she brought to our team. I'm so thankful that her plans in Uganda didn't go right on schedule and that she got to tag along with us...she was definitely meant to be on that bus with us. I loved seeing her sweet spirit and watching her experience exactly what she came to Uganda to do - love on the people there. We're all praying that the rest of her time in the country is just as special as our time was with her.
Agnes - The nurse from Kampala that tagged along with us to our ladies' events. She impressed me so much with the way she shared with the ladies at our gatherings. She has such a great sense of humor and was so knowledgable. She had a way with the girls and women that she talked to...she was able to get them to loosen up and take their walls down. She got them to ask the questions that were on their mind and gave them such useful information to carry with them. She was such a blessing to our team!
I have to also mention Billy & Brian - the boys that drove/directed us on our trip. They're both awesome guys who just wanted to help serve in the best way possible and they were such a blessing to our team. They both made us laugh constantly and brought a different perspective to the trip, so I'm thankful for them too!
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