I have been very guilty of not thinking of the word "worship" properly over the years. I think a lot of us tend to just strictly think of music when we hear it, and we do God a great injustice when we focus on that one avenue. We are able to worship Him in every aspect of our life, not just through song. That is really such a small piece of the worship puzzle after all. That was something that was a hard lesson for Him to teach me - but is a lesson that I'm so very thankful to have learned. Because of it, I've found freedom in worship and have experienced Him on an entirely different level.
Over the past few years, I've wrestled with Him more about worship, but in a different way. He's pressed me to think deeply and search for what worship looks like in the middle of trials, in the valleys, when worship, as I knew it, just didn't seem to feel right.
My relationship with God has been stretched and strengthened in the recent past in amazing ways. He has walked me through the darkest of days, through emotional, mental, and physical pain, through stress and hardship, as well as mistakes made by me and by those closest to me. He's shown me who He is and who He's molding me to be.
And even though He's given me the strength to remain at peace with His promises, and my relationship with Him has remained strong, there have still been dark times. I've struggled to understand what it means to worship this God that I love when I'm still feeling tired, pressed, hurt, and stretched and learning how to lean on Him even more.
This is the only thing I fully understood: When I'm in the worst of my days, I worship much differently than I do when I'm in my best days.
But what does that look like? How do I bring glory to Him and lift Him high in worship when I'm still in these valleys? In the midst of suffering? When my imperfect heart wants to be so much better than it is?
I still don't know the answer, really. Honestly, I don't even really know why I'm writing this blog! Maybe I think that if I've wrestled so much with these questions, someone else must have them too. Maybe someone much wiser than me can give me the right answers after I share this...
I've listened to sermons, I've read devotionals, I've prayed until exhaustion, I've read Job about 3000 times...and for now, this is what God's revealed to me.
*I worship Him in acknowledging and trusting who He is. He shows His faithfulness again and again and continues to amaze me with who He truly is.
*I worship Him in trusting His plan. He is the master painter and He writes the best stories. I know He has a plan for my pain...and He wants me to realize that even though I don't understand it, I must submit to it, and that His plans for me and my life will exceed any of my own expectations.
*I worship Him in rejoicing in what's He's doing in me. Even if my circumstances aren't changing and they might not ever be what I want them to be, I know He's completing a work in me, and that is worth celebrating.
*I worship Him in expressing my pain. When I'm honest with Him, when I hold Him as a close enough friend to vocalize my innermost emotions, He is glorified.
*I worship Him by serving others. In showing His love, even in the midst of hard days, we point people to Him. He has given me opportunities to reach out to other people fighting fights that I can relate to. He has presented those chances as a way to be His hands and feet and serve others with the goal of revealing more of Him in the process.
*I worship Him by carrying on. I will make mistakes. Others will too. Both instances will cause pain and heartache because we are imperfect people who can accomplish little more than utter destruction when left to our own devices. It would be easy to give up. But in dusting ourselves off and carrying on with the tasks at hand, He is seen. In drawing on His strength and His peace, the mundane things that can seem overwhelming and exhausting can become expressions of praise.
*I worship Him in song. This is definitely specific to me, and why I put so much emphasis on music for so long. God made me connected to music in a beautiful way and it is how I express myself to Him in ways I can't do otherwise. When I cannot seem to collect my thoughts or express myself, I am able to lift Him up in song and show my heart.
*I worship Him in wanting to get to know Him better. Even in the midst of the struggles, diving into His Word and talking to Him and getting to know Him better helps cement who He is and how faithful He has been. He is glorified when we seek to know Him more.
Worshipping in these ways feels different in the valleys than it does on the peaks. It's hard to put into words...and basically, I've just been rambling here because of that...
The valley is a pain filled place to worship, one that I wish was easier some days...one that I wish didn't have to be thought through so much...one that I wish would mean that everything was fine and dandy once you figured it out.
It is pain filled, yes. But I have found that these moments of worship in the valleys are sweeter than others in so many ways. They are filled with genuinely deep passion and emotion...with so much resting in those moments...so many nudgings and reminders of the One who deserves all of our worship, no matter what that looks like to each of His creations...
No comments:
Post a Comment