My best friend growing up was someone who I was in school with from 1st grade on. She was my other half. She was a part of my family and I felt comfortable just walking into her house unannounced. We went through friends, boyfriends, breakups, bad grades, and personal trouble together as a team. We traded more friendship necklaces and bracelets than I can count.
Then we went to college. And we didn't talk nearly as often as we should have. We've stayed remotely connected and I even got to help her celebrate marrying her best friend last year, but I hate the fact that I didn't do more to stay connected to her after leaving our hometown. She has been a treasure in my life...still is, really. When we do find ourselves getting together for lunch, or texting, or even just posting on Facebook, we pick up right where we left off and I love that. She will always be my forever friend. She will always hold that sacred place in my heart.
My adult friends have meant something different, but are the same kind of special. A lot of people have come and gone. I've lost touch with them, they've moved away, or we've had our differences that have caused us to fall away from each other. But then there's the ones who are still there, part of my every day life, teaching me, pushing me, and holding me up when I need it.
And here am I, so thankful for their friendships...loving their families as my own, seeing how they've helped me grow in my faith and are pushing me to be the woman that God intends for me to be. And I feel burdened for them in their struggles like I've never felt before.
I never knew before what it was like to love someone else's kids like they were your own, never knew what it was like to lose sleep over someone else's struggle or burden, never knew what it was like to go through the darkest days of my life and have someone that I knew would just hold me and be still with me while I hurt. The past few years have opened my eyes to these aspects of friendship like never before....and it's a painfully lovely revelation.
Knowing this kind of friendship has been one of the hardest things my soul has known...it has been filled with pain that stretches across states and even continents...it finds me in a place where I cry because I am completely helpless and have no right words. It leaves me heavy and stretching, reaching out to do whatever I can to shoulder some weight for them.
But it has been one of the most beautiful things too. Because it finds me rejoicing in others' triumphs like never before and sharing in their successes. It finds me with fellowship, laughter, and wisdom that I've been craving all my life. It finds me trusting people like I never have before and leaves me with places I can count as safe and sacred, where love flows freely and support is constant.
My friends pick me up when I fall down.
They dust me off when life keeps flinging mud at me.
They call me out gently (and sometimes sternly) when I struggle with my sin.
They share their own hurts, their own struggles, and are transparent with their lives.
They prod me with love to be obedient to the callings on my heart.
They speak God's truth and wisdom directly and with confident responsibility.
They point out and encourage my gifts.
They hold me.
They let me cry.
They sing to my soul when it's yearning for something more.
And everything in me yearns to do the same for them...to be a friend like the ones I've come to know. To know that when I am called "friend" it is with this understanding in mind...with these clear eyes that see the sweet fellowship that I was created for, that reflects the One who made me.
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