On hidden hurts...

I'm sure most of you have heard the saying "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle." I think we all know it...I just don't think we remember it very well. At the very least, I don't think we know how to handle it well.

We all have them - the big things that rewrite your story: the things that change the course of your life forever; the things that tax you - financially, physically, & emotionally; the things that break you, that leave you hanging by a thread.


Some of these things we share with the world. Some of these things are OK to talk about out loud. We ask for prayer, we ask for advice, we create Facebook groups and join discussion boards, we share it with each community that we are a part of - our friends, family, church, school, office, etc. 

These things bring the masses streaming to encourage, support, give gifts, pray, give hugs, etc. The world shares prayer requests and rallies to pull us through. We get hugs from the people we see and are told that it's ok to cry and be honest about how we feel.  We are allowed to deal with our situations in the way that we need to and are given grace for the things that might fall through the cracks because everyone knows how hard things are for us at these times. 

Others times, we can't let anyone know the truth. We might share some details about our circumstances to some close people, but never all of it and never to the world. We usually have to pretend everything is ok. We put on our brave face. We have to keep our emotions in check and still take care of daily life without any room for error. There is no break because of our heartache...the world doesn't see it...there are no meals at the door on the days that you don't feel like you can muster the strength to feed your family, no cards in the mail to carry you through the rough days, no automatic hugs, no extra effort from people that just know you on a surface level, no prayer campaigns and conversations about what everyone wants to do to help.

We blaze through life not recognizing the hurts in the people around us...the ones that they can't post on Facebook or share with you. We ignore the fact that sometimes, people are on the verge of tears and can't say a word.  We rally behind the things that are clearly visible, while missing the fact that, often, the pains that we keep silent are the ones that hurt the most. 

I've known both sides of these pains. And I hate that I am so guilty about keeping things quiet when all I want is a world where we can be completely honest about our messes. I pray that I can continue to let God open my eyes and my heart to the opportunities around me to be brave and share my own pain and allow others the freedom to share theirs. 

So what do we do? How do you minister to people when you don't know what they're going through? How do I use my own "secret pain" to teach me how to do that? How do we make people not feel so alone, so isolated, so un-cared for? How do we appreciate the times that we CAN talk about what we're going through and recognize what a blessing that is in the midst of our trials? How do we value the grace in that freedom when it is limited for so many?

Today, I will look at the people around me and truly see in their eyes how they're doing. 
Today, I will ask "how are you?" and REALLY listen to the answer and encourage them to be truthful. 
Today, I will show kindness to someone who shows no evidence of needing it and pray that I meet some hidden need. 

Today, I will try to teach someone that it is OK not to be OK.