But, I must admit publicly how often I question myself as a mother...and I THINK other moms do this too, though we're not great at admitting it out loud.I wish we had a better dialogue about this and about "mommy competition", but we don't so we're left to struggle with our own ideas and insecurities and, as you should know by now, I like to get those kinds of things out in the open.
So here it is, folks....my confession that I am the worst mom. Doesn't that make you feel better about yourself? I've provided a few pieces of evidence…with much more to come as we enter new phases and ages I'm sure:
*I am unorganized. I don't always have kleenexes, wet wipes, snacks, drinks, etc on hand like I'm supposed to. My purse is a disaster zone and I can rarely find what I need in an emergency. Often, we don’t have the medicines on hand that we need and have to make emergency trips to Target (who am I kidding, this is just another excuse to go to Target). And I can’t tell you how many times we have spent WAY too much time in the morning looking for matching socks...no one cares if they're the same color of pink anyway, right?
*I forget things. A lot of things. Important things and not so important things. I consistently let slip appointments, scheduled meetings, and things like taking an extra outfit to daycare. Who’s the one who has had to pick up her daughter in just a pull-up and a t-shirt on more than one occasion? This girl!
*I laugh at my kids. I try not to, I really do…but unfortunately, sometimes I’m laughing at them and not with them. When Mason skip-runs down the soccer field, I am laughing because he is a dork. Period. And I want him to embrace his dorkiness and run (or skip) with it. I hope someday, they laugh right along with me. Goodness knows they already laugh AT me!
*I use the TV to babysit. I love being able to do the dishes or cook dinner as quickly as I sometimes need to without worrying about hurting little feelings or stepping on little toes. And sometimes mommy just needs a minute to collect herself, doesn’t she?
*I let my kids wear crocs on a regular basis. I buy cute shoes and they complain or ruin them within a week, so I put them in crocs. They’re ugly. They’re ridiculous. But they’re cheap and the kids love them, so who am I to argue? I can feel people judging me when we go out like that in public, but frankly, I don’t have the energy to dress myself in cute clothes and uncomfortable shoes, much less 3 people!
*Puke and poop still gross me out. Yes, I suck it up and deal with it. But I think that, from what I read and heard about motherhood earlier in life, I thought that it wouldn’t gross me out anymore after I had kids. The books and blogs often make you believe that, because you love your children so deeply, that you won’t mind cleaning up their bodily fluids and dealing with functions in such a close manner. I’m telling you right now - that’s bull. It still makes me gag and want to throw up myself...I just deal with it because I love them so much...and that is VERY different.
Now, I don’t ACTUALLY think I’m the worst mom in the world, there are plenty of crazies in the news to make me realize that I'm doing alright here. But I’m definitely in the running for one of the most ridiculous I think, and probably one that will get talked about in mommy circles as we complete this hilarious journey of life. I’m just praying that my kids can learn to love me for the laid back mom that I am and that other moms can find some encouragement in how I stumble through this motherhood thing!
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